Dear Future Wife

Over the past few years, I’ve seen some awesome couples’ interactions on Facebook and think, “I want that to be my future wife and me some day.” For instance, the wife who left this note for her husband:
 Or wives who surprise their husbands with a new Star Trek action figure, just because.  Things like this prompt me to author a comment that goes something like, “Dear future wife, I hope we have this kind of relationship some day. Please take notes. Love, Your Future Husband.”

Well, I thought I would compile a longer note to her, wherever she may be. I hesitated to post it publicly, but I think it is something that we as a society, not just we in our future marriage, should strive for.  Specific interests may vary from couple to couple, but the core idea is the same.  Here it is.

Dear Future Wife,

What do I hope for us?

I want to walk through the front door of our home and immediately feel the Holy Spirit residing there. I want rows upon rows, shelves upon shelves, stacked with paper books–a veritable kingdom of imagination, where our children’s minds can explore civilizations distant and fantastic. I want fun, and laughter. Board games and story time. Stories of pirate ships and starships, wardrobes that lead to other lands, hobbits who save Middle-Earth, and time lords who travel in police boxes. I want family prayer, every day if we possibly can, where we communicate with our Heavenly Father.

Future wife, I want us to love to be together, no matter what we happen to be doing. Climbing, hiking, biking, watching Star Trek, changing diapers, or going to the grocery store.  Cheering our team loudly at a hockey game, or quietly, reverently praying together in our bedroom.

While I’m at work, I would hope that you would be able to homeschool our children, carefully teaching them the principles and values of the Gospel, as well as giving them a first-rate education in reading, writing, math, and science. I want them to go to museums, aquariums, zoos, and parks, and experience what they are learning first-hand. I want them to learn to think critically, and love the scientific method, but also learn to fix reason firmly in her seat, and listen to the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice.

I want to teach our sons and daughters about the Priesthood. I want them to recognize that it’s going to be the thing that saves our nation from its slow spiritual, moral, economic, and social decline. I want my children to respect the Priesthood as God’s power given to man to do His work on this earth. I want them to have a strong mother like the mothers of the Stripling Warriors, who teaches them correct principles, because their lives will depend upon it. I want them to love our Savior, Jesus Christ, and turn to Him in times of trouble.

I dream of Nerf battles in our family room, roleplaying games in the backyard, and impassioned but respectful discussions across the kitchen table. What will we discuss? Anything, as long as it’s interesting! Politics and history, the Dominion War, Tolkien’s Christian references in LOTR, and the true meaning of Herman Melville’s classic, Moby Dick. The genetic differences between a Romulan and a Vulcan, and whether Picard or Kirk was a more accomplished captain.

I want to go to Sacrament Meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society/Priesthood every Sunday. I want to watch Conference together and share our thoughts afterward. I want to search the Scriptures with you, and I want to share our deepest concerns and questions with each other.

What will I promise to you in exchange for you being this amazing, capable, intelligent, dedicated woman?

I will honor the Priesthood. I will serve our family as a loving husband and father. I will never give up on us. I will ensure that we have the means to give our kids everything they need to become successful. I will listen. I’ll listen to you, and to the Holy Spirit’s promptings. I’ll listen to our kids. We will tithe faithfully, and the windows of heaven will be opened to us. I’ll pray with you. I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray for us. I’ll defend us from harm, physical and spiritual. I’ll ensure our home is a refuge from the outside world. I’ll seek after self-improvement, and admit when I’m wrong. Most of all, I will keep my eternal perspective, and provide you with my deepest love.

Future wife, please take notes. I would love to spend eternity with you and our forever family.


Your Future Husband

2 thoughts on “Dear Future Wife

  1. You’re in luck! I have two bachelor’s degrees-one in elementary education, the other in English. I have four tall bookcases filled with books I’ve collected over the years. Two are dedicated to children’s picture books and the YA novels you listed. I graduated from Seminary and Institute. Served a mission. Love to sing and play the piano. I currently teach sunbeams in my family ward and my ward choir depends on me. My two nephews adore me and I love spending time with them.
    So, why haven’t I been snatched up yet? Probably because I’m turning 42 soon and way past my expiration date. Never mind all these years I’ve had to get all the education I could and develop my talents in anticipation of contributing to a future home and family of my own (in the next life *sigh*).
    But, never fear, I know plenty of amazing single women younger than myself who meet all of the qualifications you’re looking for. If you’ve read “Date-onomics” by Jon Birger, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding that future wife.


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